you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
