I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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