fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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