Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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