We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
