Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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