Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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