Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
