Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
We're facebook friends in real life
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
