well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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