Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
