so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
