Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
