we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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