I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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