I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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