My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
