I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
