worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
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I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
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Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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