I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
