i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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