yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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