My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
