Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
