Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize
