I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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