my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
