We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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