you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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