she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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