We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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