how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
