May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
