does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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