I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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