You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
foreskin is a definite game changer
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Randomize
