i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
