I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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