yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
