Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
