You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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