You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
