in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
