listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize