can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
