Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
