Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
