The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
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