I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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