I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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