Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I hate all girls vehemently.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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