well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
