Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having hate sex.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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