do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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