I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
where are my eyebrows?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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