i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
