I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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