My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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