Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
