She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize