i just wanna soil my oats bro
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
