At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
