that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
