I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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