you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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